Kissing frogs

It has been awhile since I wrote my blog.  Life happens I suppose when you are making other plans.  So as we get to the end of Feb, the official month of love, I thought it only appropriate to write about my dating experiences the last month or two.

As a new year started, I decided to refresh my “search” for someone/the one/anyone out there.  I rejoined internet dating sites.  And it has been interesting to say the least.  Internet dating is truly a way to meet people if you wanna get lucky.  Actually it won’t even take any luck, just need to put yourself out there.  Within the first few days, I met a few potential guys who I started talking to regularly.  One of the guys I started chatting to was a bit older than me but he seemed very cheerful and upbeat.  He worked close to where I work and stay-I made the number one online dating mistake, said too early which neighbourhood(not the exact address) I lived in.  So our morning conversations always started off with him wanting to quickly come see me at work, just a glance, just a hello.  Very pushy which triggered alarm bells.  I kept saying I am too busy at work and that it would be awkward.  But talk about persistence.  I think it came too close for comfort to me when he texted me that he was at the Woolies across from my work.  He was within 20metres from me.  Fortunately we never met.  I deleted him the day after that.  Another guy and I were texting casually, the whole “get to know each other” texts.  We were busy talking about series when he asked me if I can send him a picture of my boobs.  I was taken aback by it.  And no longer have him as a contact anywhere.  Another rather peculiar guy wanted to discuss my sexual history, specifically focusing on all the different races I have slept with.  Cray cray cray.  So yes there are many crazies out there.  For every one dateable guy/girl out there on the internet there must be a hundred crazies.  So you really need to be patient or just give up on internet dating.

I also went to a speed dating event with a friend.  I actually really enjoyed the experience.  My friend and I met beforehand for a cocktail.  Liquid courage always works.  Nothing like a strong margarita to get the personality going.  It is set up exactly as you have seen in the movies.  The restaurant they chose had that romantic lighting now that I think about it.  So after our cocktails, we went to report our presence to the people running the place.  We joined fellow curious, nervous speed daters in the restaurant booth.  So the small talk began.  I think we all were trying to establish what we were getting ourselves into.  There was a veteran girl who has been to a couple of these events.  She kept babbling on about people she met, guys not calling back etc.  I felt a bit sorry for her.  She was already “selling” herself and she seemed desperate to me.  The mean girls also showed up, bitching and moaning that we were more girls than guys.  Being obnoxious about only getting one drink, no food.  Typical high school mean girls mentality.  And then the games started.  We had to sell ourselves.  We had to sell our personalities, sell our smiles.  Five minutes to convince someone that they would want to see you again.  We all were armed with pen and paper to take note of the people you meet. The first guy I spoke to was a business man who insisted I write down both his email addresses so I can contact him regarding the travel agency he runs.  The whole conversation was so forced.  But as I moved on to the next five minute guy it became easier.  One guy warned me to be careful because girls fall in love with him easily.  Another one, who was a lawyer took a lot offence in me asking him what he does for a living.  One guy could stop talking about wanting to live in a nice quant neigbourhood in Joburg.  At one point we sat out for about ten minutes .  So my friend and I swopped notes.  What is funny is how we all were speaking to the same guys but we got different information from them.  The girl next to me told us she zoned out at one point when the guy was discussing his motorcross accident.  Eventually she realized he stopped talking, but she didn’t know how long ago.  My notes included words such as gay, legal, Chicago, Afrikaans, Jewish etc.  My friend’s note on her first five minute guy said “boring as fuck”.  I thought she was just overreacting.  This guy was my last one.  And I was already used to what questions to ask, what to say to sell myself.  I mean he was the 15^th guy I saw.  It ended up being the most boring, weirdest conversation I had.  Every question I asked he replied with one word answers.  It got to a point where I told him I don’t have any small talk questions to ask him anymore.  I never thought 5 minutes could feel so looooooong.  It became awkward.  It was like I was waiting for the school bell to go off, to just take us both out of our misery.   The next day was the match up.  We had to go online and select the guys as a potential relationship, potential friend,potential business or nothing.  I had six matches, but the guy I actually would have wanted to see again, a refugee from Rwanda didn’t match up.  I will definitely do it again.  It is an easy way to meet new people. 

I did go on one proper date with an internet acquaintance.  I didn’t really want to go.  I kept pushing to just go for drinks because it is easier to say goodbye if things get awkward.  But he insisted on dinner.  I am glad he did.  Surprisingly we had a proper conversation on life, travel, family and little stories about ourselves.  The waiters eventually started packing up around us as our cue to go.  I would like to see him again, as a friend.

And so my search for someone/the one/anyone still continues.  In the mean time I am clearly gonna have to kiss many more frogs than I anticipated on.

Cheers